Real life can be a bit of pain sometimes.
I've been feeling really drained recently. At first I thought I was just tired, and then it was just my cold and then ... and then... Not too long ago, I realized that I was slipping back into depression, which I've fought with before.
Now, I realize that, yes I was slipping into depression, however that was not my only problem. More than just the depression, I lacked any stores of Emotional Energy. This is the kind of energy that fills you with that Get-Up-And-Go, with the motivation to get you through the day. More relevantly, it's also the energy I use for sewing, and writing and blogging.
Now, I love doing those things. But, there's only so much gas in the tank, and recently, my Emotional Energy Tank has been leaking. This week, I came to the startling, yet blatantly obvious realization that work was the leak in my tank. Well, not work itself, I actually rather enjoy secretary-HR-management. However, the current work environment is rather hard on me.
I'm constantly pulled between my Mother-in-Law and everyone else. Be it, my darling boyfriend, the other staff members (who are usually unhappy and in my opinion not treated very well), or just the general public. I've also had increasing contact with the Handy Man, who is now dating my Mother-in-Law. He's not only drunk or drinking more often than not, but he also reminds me very strongly of my mother's abusive ex-husband. Then there's of course the drama of my Mother-in-Law (not so quietly) waging war on not only the previous owner of the hotel, but also on her business partner (more quietly, as far as her partner is concerned, though everyone else and the cat next door knows). And finally there's the fact that I'm constantly on call, to not only my M-i-L but also to the Handy Man and every member of staff.
Drama drains my emotional energy. And I'm not sure if you can tell, but there's a lot of drama going on in my life right now.
Step one to a solution is identifying the problem. I think I've sorted that one out. Step two, is finding a way to stop the problem. So at the moment I've started looking for a new job. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
In the mean time, I might be a little more absent around here that I'd like. I'm not getting much sewing done to be honest, so I'm not really sure what I can show you. What I am going to try and do, is find some patterns that I either like or want to try, or just feel like showing off / pointing out.
Thanks for sticking with me!